Age Gaps: How Much Does Age Matter in a Relationship?

In many Western countries, the focus of much discussion is the age gap in a healthy lasting relationship. Men seem to bear the brunt of the age “shaming” if we can call it that, as it is the topic that dominates the dinner table, tabloid magazines, and of course, the discussion of dating or marrying a foreign partner.

In my travels, to Ukraine, the age argument gets tossed on its head and the taboo disappears. On over a dozen occasions I have been told that 25 is the age that a woman should already have a child, and I have personal knowledge of a doctor telling a 28-year-old woman that she had missed her window for having a healthy child. In the West, at age 25, most women are just getting married and having children even later than age 25. While it happens in the USA, it is still not as common as it used to be. This leads us to the topic of a good age difference and what a man should expect when they search for the woman of their dreams in Ukraine.

I cannot really say I subscribe to any belief that trying to find a lady that is more than 15 years younger than you are is really going to be beneficial. Yes, it is true you may find someone that is in for a fast relationship. A relationship based on material wealth and vacations to a tropical island for a week or two at a time may sound fun but it will end in disappointment for sure. My bet is that those relationships if you can call them that, will only last as long as the credit card bill you generated when you were on this expensive vacation. It is much better to travel to meet your lady, invest in meeting her friends, and aim for a realistic age gap of 15 years or less. I can’t tell you how many dating profiles I have read that start with “age is not important” when we all know that age is VERY important.

My last relationship was with a kind woman that was 34. We had a lot in common and she was mature for her age, had no children, and was well traveled. That age difference seemed to be just about right for me. Any younger and I might be close in age to someone’s parents. That is a nightmare scenario for me….dating someone only to find out her parents are 3 or 4 years older than I am. Gentleman, you may find a kind woman that is a single mother that has had to be mature and grow up very fast, and in that case, I wish you all the best. I know many Western men and we all sort of came up with this joke for the men that we knew that were only spending a week in Ukraine and were going on 7 dates in 7 days with 7 women, My friends and I had relocated to Odesa would just look at each other and laughingly say “30/60” meaning we knew that they were going to be spending a lot of money going on dates with ladies half their age. Men, do not fall for this trap! Women in Ukraine are absolutely beautiful and you can easily find a woman far less than half your age. They are smart, humble, kind homemakers that are eager to please the right man. Be that RIGHT man and do not prey upon someone far younger than you and of course, do not be preyed upon by someone looking for that tropical vacation and a new iPhone for the expensive English lessons you will be asked to pay for next. 😉

This was done on, my laptop with a little more thought about my own experiences and those of my friends in Ukraine before the war.

Be safe

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Author: Andy Scoggins

Andrew has traveled extensively from his home on the Outer Banks of North Carolina having starting his journey through the former Soviet Union in Winter of 2012 to Novokuznetsk, then on to Ukraine's Lviv, Kyiv, Kharkov, and finally his second home, Odessa.  

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